Friends

the scolding is continuous
this story far more true than the one
i told you

my body pulses like a
pavlov dog
i swear that like a cat
i have nine lives
so i imagine that
the pain does not matter much
except for when it’s a prelude to
my death
but then still,
i’d have another eight left,
it’s the mark written down
in the top right corner of the page
every time i automatically
jump up to fetch the reward

still,
this beating is continuous
and i cover up bruises
with the make-up of clowns

i don’t understand how you can still love me
after this insanely true story
of the never ending way
i undermine myself
with insecurity

this beating is continuous
the pain does not matter much

i anticipate and fetch the reward
for my good behavior
but i will never resist the urge
to punish myself,
afterwards,
for what i don’t think i deserve.

the still hand,
jealous of the pages before
longing towards
words once written,
lingers
on the somber white.

a light caress,
which grievous impatience
quickly ends,
yearning for a flow
from its vial of ink,
instead of volatile nothingness
that trickles
down the bones
ceasing to exist
before thought
hits the pulp
without proper reveal.

the cord severed
between
the mind and the pen.
genius suffered
as the cyclone
of illusion
versus actuality
dismantle
the psyche
leaving nothing
but madness.
the preposterous,
better then nothing,
the annihilation
of logic
or reason
and tact
better
then frozen phalanges
gripping tight
the pen
that will not draw
but a single line,
the elbow
shouldering aside
any idiom
that came to mind.

fingers unfrozen
as pen falls from hand.
a sorrowful clink
of what will not be.
hand forsakes
what the intellect
cannot speak.

Tin Man

i am nobody
(we are the nobodies)
i see nothing, i hear the breeze
with my stomach twisted and biting—
with my mind engulfed and entrenched—
i wrestle free from heartache, from
from aches
from taking free
—away—

these are not the happy thoughts
of old, youths, and fledgling words

these are the eternities spent tucked
nift and deft and pickled and fickle

my heart is rusted and tin
tampered and dent
din, the sounds of furious swipes
scythes running across fields
barley and rye
where my childhood lied
now ruins, now tunes thrown from south
airy, cheery gold-dirt lands
still i stand, forlorn
brimming with pride, alone
a warning

i am still the tin man.

Well Im Kurt. Im 19. Im in the US Army. Im a firefighter in the US Army. Currently serving in Afghanistan which is why im posting this at like 3am your time. Its 130pm here =). Im pretty laid back and easy going. Pretty new to LJ which is why im in this community. Looking for a bunch of friends from anywhere and everywhere!. I enjoy talking. Im from a small town born and raised. I joined the local volunteer fire dept at the age of 17 and fell in love. I joined the Army to get away from the small town but will return when the Army is done with me which will be in 2013. I enjoy music. All kinds. Atreyu, August Burns Red, Something Corporate, Ace of Base, Mozart, Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Hollywood Undead, DMX, Eminem, HED PE, Slipknot, System of a Down, Serj Tankian, Blink 182, Sum 41, As I Lay Dying, Fear Factory, Static Lullaby, Plain White T's. But country is my favorite. Toby Keith, Trace Adkins, George Strait, Willi Nelson, Brad Paisley, Phil Vassar, Rascal Flatts, Lone Star, but my all time favorite is The Zac Brown Band. I also enjoy reading, I am currently reading Perks of Being a Wallflower. I enjoy reading a lot of John Grisham and Stephen King. Im pretty into movies and TV shows. The Saw series is one of my favorites but also Band Of Brothers or Generation Kill. Adam Sandler is one of my favorite actors. Well thats me!

I'm Eileen. Some people call me Ellie. I live in Puerto Rico for now. I will be visiting Taiwan on December 26. My mom's side is hispanic and my dad's side is Irish. I'm passionate about Taiwanese culture, drawing abstract art, and traveling. I like to take pictures even though they're mediocre. My hearing is impaired; I went through many years of speech therapy. My journal consists of traveling destinations, events, art, random thoughts, and so on. I'm here for new friends!

Hi guys!
I invite you to the most popular social network in Russia with a unique service as adding video and music of any size and genre.
Already registered more than 50 million people who managed to download a network of more than 100 petabytes of information, videos and music.
So let's be friends! :)

ps: sorry for my English

stranger(s) if you read me:
Do not drink from the fountain
that feeds the Tree of Life,
for Life knows not that which is good
or bad - Life only lives His Way.
But if you should take a sip
against Fate (all mortals do)
do not tempt the Devil your soul,
for He knows not that which is holy
and pure - He only lives His Way.

my heart was cut open
and i can't say why
because you would laugh
and not understand
either way,
you were the one
who sewed it closed again
using a tiny needle
you replaced the big black hole
with tiny insignificant ones
through which a cord was strung
crazy tight
so my heart sings now
whenever you're around

my eyes were blinded
and i can't say why
because your eyes would smile
and i wouldn't understand
why
either way,
you saw me
you lifted up more than my shirt
and looked underneath
actually, i don't know how you did it
it was not a thought experiment
you simply touched me
and i could see
again

sometimes, though
what you see is not what you get
and what you feel might not be
submissive enough
to the concrete power
of the mind

this is what you told me
i pretended i couldn't hear you
but how could i not?
there was nothing wrong
with my ears
even before you came along

you are unavailable
and i am not
but a thought experiment
might get us past that
so i will thank you for your help
i will not kiss you goodbye,
i'll shake your hand
bye, teacher of matters of seeing
bye, teacher of matters of feeling
our minds are intelligent enough
to fantasize about what we can't be
doing

I'm Julien. I'm 19.

I'm biologically female, but I consider myself to be gender neutral - with a slight emphasis toward the masculine.

I'm a pre-med Molecular & Cell Biology major at UC Berkeley.

I read manga from time to time. (Dogs, Deadman Wonderland, Monster, MPD Psycho, Mononoke --) I play video games from time to time. (Persona 4, Zelda, Final Fantasy -- ) I gravitate naturally to libraries, where the smell of dry, aging paper injects a bit of life into me. Poetry. Novels. Anything.

I'm an insomniac, and have been so for the past six years. This has left me perpetually in a state of the in-between.

I like psychological thrillers and slice-of-life movies, I dislike being touched and my eyes are too large for my face.

I like wandering through the city. People-watching. Writing. Taking photographs. Sewing. Poring over textbooks. Studying. Not studying. Cooking. Trying to live. Sometimes, succeeding.

heyasss!!!

I'm Tiana and I'm nearly 14 years old.
I have just started Live Journal and I think it would be cool to meet new friends and people on the internet.
People who don't know me think I don't talk much, but people who do know me wish I would just shut up! I can be pretty random at times too...
I love drama, I write lots of stories and I can't live without music.

I'm open minded and would love to meet new people!

Helloooooooo there livejournal :D

Well I'm Annie for starters
I'm 20
I'm from NYC
I'm a philosophy/chem major
I like to ramble a lot I just like talking
I'm into tons of different music
I'm usually not picky with music though my taste leans more towards alternative
I love writing poetry & taking pictures
I'm quirky
I think I'm a funloving person I'm always up for adventures
Well I'm hoping to gain new lj friends or someone who experiences a different lifestyle I'm pretty open minded and I'd love to meet anyone :D

Beneath the ashes laying in tears

I swallow every breath like burning flames engulf the idea they now own and take as they steal every memory and destroy the future at which this thing will never have. This thing that gives me everything yet leaves me with nothing with fists of infamous rage I crawl away. Until this thing finds me and buries me between worlds. Lost in the idea that I would have what I want but only seeing it through someone else's eyes and never my own. I breathe only to give my body life and this thing makes it harder, harder to fill my lungs full of this idea of life when all I am is this thing. I hate this thing that I am and there is nothing I can do to escape from it. It will always be in my way and no sooner will I be able to evade its grasp it holds tight hurting and piercing every bone in my body. I scream out for help and like always there is no response, there is no one that cares enough to safe me because I am not good enough to be saved. Why waste time on me when this thing people hate is who I am and all I will be. I want people to see me not this thing I would get rid of if I could. All I am is nothing and all I will be is nothing if I can’t destroy this limiting idea that swarms me like bees, bees that never see who I am but the same as everything. But I am different, I am not like anyone else and I embrace my individuality, I laugh at those who try and fit in when it is more fun sitting on the outside laughing at those who mimic and do what people think they should do. What is the point in living life when there are things that you shouldn’t do fuck those things fuck everything… I will not fall into the flames of this miss identified ideas of what life should be like because damn it I will prevail this thing may have me now but one day when it lets it’s guard down I will be ready and I will be waiting to shatter every part of it so I can be free and so I can live. It will not always control everything I do nor will anyone anymore I am better then you and I do not have to prove it. It is not about me but it damn sure isn’t about you we are all equal and we are all better. Mind over matter, not my mind doesn’t matter. I have an idea and my idea will be heard with or without you…

come but be tender, for leaves are fragile
and hearts are pinkish (like a newborn baby's hand)
come take one finger if love is gentle
and you are shy (like a newborn baby's blush)
come do not shiver, but just a little
and eyes are curious (like a baby's newborn sight)
come rest your lips upon my lips
and lips are fuzzy like a newborn glow in me.

Hello everyone. My name is Adrian, i have also gone by Fubu back in my high school days (not really that long ago)
I'm 19 years old and find my self suffering from constant questioning. Not really depression i don't think, but definatly a sense of questioning that brings me down.

I just started this live journal as an attempt at a handshake to the world. I would like to meet anyone who actually wants to talk to me, not just keep me around to have another person on their friends list...
umm... I'm not very good at stringing together information like this...

I am a child of the 90's and absolutely love it, thus my fascination with ska music.

I also often write poetry that is posted all on my profile, feel free to take a look and speak your piece.

oh, and as the poems will probly show, I am a VERY hopeless romantic and will always look for a chance to be chivalrous.

My name is erika, I am 21.
Also, I live with my boyfriend of a little over a year. He is pretty good to me.
My journal may offend you, I do apologize if that happens.
I am a fun loving, quirky personality.
I love meeting new people and learning all about them.
I hope to be YOUR new lj friend.
you can comment here or on my journal or just add me. I will see them all.
also, i've included a picture.. in case needed.


and one more


ps. you can look at my userinfo, it may give you a little more insight as to what I am all about.

You promised me the world,
A world that is beautiful and free.

I see a world with poverty
Heartbreaks and lies.
A world with crimes and addiction,
That's how we'll all die.

Everyone wants to be different,
Which makes us all the same.
Sex and teen pregancies,
Society is to blame.

Children on the streets
Without family or education.
Even nothing on their bare feet,
Forgotten by this nation.

No one is ever alone.
We're all just victims on their agenda
Waiting for something to happen,
Until this evil is overthrown.

The bureaucracies conspire
They all promise change,
But all I see are wars and gunfires,
We all find it strange.

Religion is the greatest downfall
Grenades, AKs, and corpses sprawled.
Planes and bombs in God's will
But really, just another excuse to kill.

The media tries to make a quick buck
Defamations and gossip,
Damaging more than they can make up
We’re all screwed and fucked.

Humanity is baffled
Inebriated with love and greed
Obliterating this planet into shambles,
Just to satisfy our own needs.

You promised me the world,
Is this what you had in mind?

-11/24/2009

hi
im nicoa
17
england midlands
unemployed
im a self injurer and have been depressed for 4 years.i write alot about the messed up thoughts i have in my live journal. im shy openminded and wierd. im good at listening giving advice to people. im honest and i tell it how it is. i want friends who talk not just people who will add for the friend count.